The ordeal, the hope and the constant dreaming
2 million people. That’s the number of people currently waiting to call Canada their home, as per an article released by CIC News. 2 million people with dreams of starting fresh, making sure they have a foundation, and securing their future. Individuals who are not just moving countries for better jobs and lives, but refugees and their families who are desperately trying to escape their devastating realities. I'm one of those 2 million.
A little background
My husband applied for my Permanent Residency in January 2020. We were meant to have a big, fat Indian wedding in March 2020, after which I was meant to move to Canada on a visit visa until everything fell into place. Then, the pandemic hit. My wedding got cancelled, I ate a LOT of McDonald's and poured my depression into coloring Mandala’s, mindlessly watching Netflix and dealing with troublesome health issues.
There was a moment where I almost lost hope, but my husband (god bless him) kept me positive. Once travel restarted, he flew to Dubai in September 2021. That lasting embrace, the joy of seeing him, and the hope he brought with him – I’ll never forget. We managed to have a shotgun wedding with a minuscule number of people and I left my beloved home of 29 years. I didn't even wear what I had made for my wedding, because I couldn't fit into those clothes anymore. (No thanks to you, Zomato!)
My visit visa story itself is a little bit of a nightmare, but that’s not what this blog post is about.
Finally, after going back and forth between Toronto and Dubai, in July of 2021, I received my Confirmation of Permanent Residency. I thanked god immensely for that moment I saw the email come through. A friend of mine received hers just a few weeks before me, and we rejoiced together. My heart was filled with gratitude.
But then, silence. My photograph on the PR portal remained unapproved, while everything else was approved. This is my current status. Now, I just keep refreshing the portal, staring at my non-smiley face and wondering when will I hold this card in my hand?
The waiting period
Many people might wonder why is this such a big deal? Because it is.
Leaving behind everything I know was a step I never thought I’d take. I always said I’d marry, and live forever in Dubai. Little did I know what destiny had in store for me.
I have everything here now – a home, my new family, an incredible set of friends, my health card and a window that looks out into the park - but this PR card is the final piece of the puzzle that will truly make me feel welcome here. It’s been a hard move for me - emotionally, mentally and physically - that I hope to explain in another blog post someday. Waiting for this process to finish has been nothing short of painful and anxiety-ridden. My heart jumps when I see the postal service arrive from my bedroom window. I have ‘mailbox trauma’ where I sift through every single mail received, sometimes twice or thrice and keep refreshing my email just for a sign of something.
I can't seem to connect with the country and I keep saying 'This isn't my home'. I am waiting to finally breathe a sigh of relief, and feel a deeper sense of connection with this country that’s given me my beloved husband. But, how long is that wait going to be? How long will these 2 million people have to wait to just feel accepted? How can I, in the future, help others going through this?
UPDATE
After printing out a sample PR card from online and putting it up on the wall beside my bed to really manifest this document (yes, desperate times call for desperate measures) I decided to just stop thinking about it and left it up to the universe.
On 17 June 2022, guess what slid into my inbox? My PR card 🥳🥳🥳🥳
I keep telling my husband it's the universe at work that made it come through. His forever rationale response is no, it was about time.
Either way...
honey, I'm home.
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